self pity's meaningless

spork

Fri, 17 Feb 2006 05:13:58 GMT

You let me trace
a constellation
of freckles across
your chest like
connect the dots
with my fingers

I was Juliet
before act III
and your lies lingered
in a lonely heart
that knew better
so I toasted my good fortune
and played princess
for a night

woke up alone

they say lasting passion
is the dream of the harlot
but from it we wake in despair
<3-?

.

Mon, 06 Feb 2006 23:50:46 GMT

right when i started thinking things were going a lot better...
i called Brett and his mom informed me that she kicked him out of the house. She walked in on him smoking pot. I dunno how to take this.. He told me he quit all of that stuff because of me and it stinks now because i feel like i was a good influence on him.. and now.. by us breaking up and what not.. i feel like i'm the reason he started again... which would make me part of the reason he doesn't live at home anymore. I really hate this because I don't even know if he's okay. This bothers me. ahh. what can I do ya know?

Sun, 29 Jan 2006 23:41:43 GMT

weekend so far

Sun, 29 Jan 2006 02:00:09 GMT

So far my weekend has been amazing. One of the best weekends of my life i promise. haha. so friday i went to icezone. it was almost the whole "crew" haha. me , alex, tripp, poofy & barry. we had so much fun singing and being lame and "throwing down". haha. so yeah then tripp and i stayed the night at barrys house... we watched movies and stuff until late . On Sat, i woke tripp up and he woke up barry by calling him a faggot. haha<3 so yeah we rocked out and jammed on the geetars and drums for what seemed like hours. fun fun fun stuff. pictures in next entry .
so far, me dropping my life has only worked out for the good. i think i know what was wrong before.

.

Sun, 29 Jan 2006 01:53:36 GMT

instead of holding onto pointless friendships i've decided to drop pretty much everyone and in a way, start a new life.
{the people that do still count}
-barry-for pretty much everything. he has never left my side no matter what i was going through even when it hurt him.
-brett-because despite everything he and i have went through, i still care about him and he has an amazing heart
-poofy- because he's alex fucking geranamo from myspace. how do you drop friends like that? haha no just kidding. because he has helped me through a lot.
-alexandra- she has shown me almost everything i need in my life. She puts up with my stupid problems and has not once done anything wrong to me. alex is my best friend.
-alex- because even though we're on and off friends... we have good times
{new additions}
-Tripp- he's a fucking amazing person. Someone i could easily see being really close friends with. when we hang out we never have dull moments. he's got a great heart.
-Jordan-we've been going through the same stuff recently and we can just relate.. it's nice.